


Heart of Darkness

by The_lovely_noodles



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Amputation, Amputee! Lance, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Endgame Shance, Excessive Cursing, Gore, Graphic Violence, Hurt Lance, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, I'm writing this one as I go and it's gonna be a series of loosely connected one shots, Lance (Voltron) Whump, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Langst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Non canon compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining Lance (Voltron), Protective Shiro (Voltron), Recovery, Shiro goes through a traumatizing experience cause he's our canonical angst bucket, Sporadic Updates, Tags May Change, Trauma, Vignettes, Whump, at least in the first chapter, but they do get intimate because.... space, casual Hance, future Shance, no Hunk and Lance aren't together, no editing we die like men, pretty violent, shangst, shiro angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-07-28 17:31:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16246457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_lovely_noodles/pseuds/The_lovely_noodles
Summary: Shiro struggles to keep Lance alive after a firefight gone awry and the results have some lasting consequences.





	1. Density

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this one just swirling in my brain aight? 
> 
> Saw that Amputation scene from Made in Abyss and I nearly Died because it's so fuckin graphic and horrifying, then thought "Hey that's be cool w Langst or whatever" 
> 
> So yeah, this is what happened.

When Shiro wakes up, his vision is hazy and blurry and there’s a painful pulse in his temples.  He inhales shakily, feeling sweat bead at his forehead as his head pounds harder. He presses his fingers against his temples, clenching his teeth when pain spirals along his jaw.  He blinks and his vision goes hazy again. He tries to focus, grunting when there’s a sharp pain behind his eyes. The Black Lion is down, silent with the crash and Shiro reaches to the dashboard with a shaking hand, pressing his fingers against the still glowing dashboard.  

 

“Hello?”  He calls out, he hates how his voice wavers, “Paladins? Anybody?”  

 

There’s a crackle over his comms, a stream of white noise that makes Shiro’s throat go dry, then there’s a voice.  

 

“ _ Hello?”   _

 

“Hello?”  Shiro calls again, clenching his teeth harder when there’s another wave of agony digging into his temple, “Lance?”  

 

_ “Shiro?”   _ Lance’s voice is small and quiet, “ _ What happened?”   _

 

Flashes of the event come to memory and it only makes Shiro wince when his headache grows.  They were shot down somehow, the battle managed to incapacitate the Lions, well-- only two. 

 

“I think we were shot down.”  Shiro says, he presses the palm of his hand hard against his eyes, sighing when the pain wanes just a little.  

 

“How are you holding up?”  Lance asks him and Shiro sits up even though his ears are ringing and his arms are weak.  

 

“Okay.”  Shiro says, “I think I have a concussion.”  

 

“Oh,”  Lance sounds pretty worried on the other side, “not good.” 

 

Shiro wants to agree.  He also wants Lance to stop talking.  

 

“Are you okay?” Shiro decides to reciprocate and there’s a pause on the other line, then, 

 

“Yeah, I’m not injured.  Bruised maybe, but not injured.” 

_ That’s good, that’s good.   _

 

“I’m gonna go to you.”  Lance says, “I think you’re not too far.”  

 

“How do you figure?” Shiro asks faintly.  

 

“Sensors pick up the Black Lion about a mile and a half or less from where I am.”  Lance says. 

 

“Your Lion is working?” Shiro asks and Lance makes an affirmative noise.  

 

“Yeah, but she can’t fly.  I think she needs to recuperate before she can fly.  I’m gonna have to make the trip on foot.” 

 

“I’ll be outside.”  Shiro says and he flexes his jaw, groans when the headache sharpens to a point in his head.  

 

“Copy that.”  

 

Shiro stumbles out of the cockpit, his head feeling like a weight on his shoulders, the comms shut off.  

 

He was vaguely aware that the planet had a sprawling jungle, but when the entrance to the Black Lion hisses open he doesn’t expect to inhale the wave of thick hot air.  The Jungle is ringing with the sounds of the life, so loud that Shiro’s headache only increases and he only walks a few paces away from the downed lion before his sweat makes his hair stick to his forehead.    

 

The comms in his helmet crackle to life again and Lance is at the other end again.  

 

“Shiro, I’m halfway there--  _ damn,  _ this place is hot!”  

 

Shiro agrees.  The heat wasn’t dry, but suffocating and humid and still to the point that Shiro can feel sweat clinging to his flight suit.  

 

He leans against the paw of the lion,  trying to blink away the headache, only to let his eyes falls closed.  

 

A few minutes pass and suddenly someone is gently shaking his shoulder.  When Shiro wakes up again, Lance is facing him, helmet in hand, confusion furrowed on his face. 

 

“Are you sure you okay?” 

 

Shiro straightens up, pulling off his helmet and stretching his jaw, wincing when a hot knife of pain pierces through his temples.  

 

“I’m fine I think, bad concussion.” Shiro mutters.  

 

Lance sighs, looks back at the rest of the jungle.  

 

“Do you think the Castle of Lions is trying to re-establish a connection with us?”  

 

“I’m sure they are.”  Shiro says, “The Lions just aren’t back up and running yet.  There’s not much else we can do but wait.” 

 

The days on this planet are completely unlike Earth, the beaming super giant of a sun fading away into a starry night in just a few minutes of silence.  

 

“Rest, Shiro.”  Lance says, “I’m gonna find tinder.”  

 

Shiro lays his head back against the metal of the Black Lion’s giant paw.  

 

“You do that.”  He says, grateful that the nighttime eased the suffocating heat of the air.  A sharp blue beam of light cuts into the darkness of the jungle, the sounds still chirping and alive with its unknowns.  Lance trudges into the darkness, his beam of light easy to spot between the trees. Either way, Shiro closes his eyes, sighing with relief.  

 

There’s a sharp scream in the air and Shiro jerks awake, adrenaline overpowering the pounding in his head.  He whips his head around in the darkness, looks for the blue beam of light. It flails and flickers between the trees, the screams growing more panicked.  Shiro stuffs his helmet on his head, turns on the comms. 

 

“Lance?!”  He shouts urgently into the comms,  _ “Lance!”   _

 

The screams grow louder and Shiro’s now on his feet, flashlight on, he looks around and tries to walk forward, stumbling on a smooth object.  Shiro points the flashlight at the object.  _ Lance’s helmet.   _

There’s another scream and this time, it’s rawer and it only raises Shiro’s hackles.  

 

“I’m coming!” Shiro yells into the darkness of the jungle and he charges through the trees, his chest tightening when the screams drop off and start again, even more hoarse and raw.  

 

He follows the sound, feet sinking into squelchy mud and eliciting shrieks from the forest around him.  The screams stop again and Shiro feels panic spiking his blood as he continues running towards the noise.  

 

The blue beam then shuts off-- and Shiro forces himself to run faster, terror trapped in his throat.   He then trips, hands squelching into mud again. 

 

He rolls over, the sits up, pointing his flashlight at the object and Lance is on his side, white armor smeared in dirt.  

 

Shiro crawls over to him, pulls at his arm, tries to roll him over. 

 

“Lance,”  Shiro says, “Lance-- what happened, wake up!”  

 

Lance is limp and he groans, opening his eyes.  Shiro flashes the light in his eyes and Lance groans again.  His face seems fine, save for the glazed expression over his eyes.  Shiro pulls him up, hoists him over his shoulder like he’s done before and and starts to march through the mud, back towards the Black Lion.  The sky is glowing purple with dawn as Shiro places Lance against the Black Lion’s paw. 

 

“S-Shiro?”  Lance hums, his voice slurring and faint and as the red sun filters through the trees of the jungle Shiro notices that his face is pale and his breathing is shallow. 

 

“Yeah I’m here.” Shiro says,  “What happened?” 

 

“‘S Dangerous.”  Lance says, “Sorry.”  

 

“Don’t apologize,” Shiro says, a sharp pang of fear slicing through his stomach and Shiro notices the bruising along his jaw, see more of the bruising peeking from his flight suit.  

 

“Okay.”  Lance says, voice mellow and drained, “Sorry.”  

 

“What happened back there?” Shiro asks and Lance’s eyes are bloodshot now, even more glazed over, he’s soaked in sweat, breathing in short gasps.  

 

“Got stung-- it’s poison.  I think.” 

 

_ Poison.   _

 

Shiro surveys over the rest of Lance’s body, the armor of his leg is cracked, the calf ballooned and swollen to twice its size. Shiro looks over at Lance, sees how his head tilts when he’s nodding off.  

 

“Hey-- hey!”  Shiro’s voice becomes loud and  sharp with panic and Lance lifts his head up, sclera now scarlet.  

 

“Sorry.”  Lance says again, “Can’t stay awake-- tired.”  

 

“I get it, but--”  Shiro doesn’t want to say it, knows that whatever stung Lance had to be fatal.  

 

Lance is staring at Shiro now, eyes wide and face suddenly flushed.  

 

“Shiro.” Lance’s voice sounds small, lips barely moving, “I can’t see--”  

 

Shiro looks back at the leg, back up at Lance, panic rolling within him in waves.  

 

“Keep your eyes open.”  Shiro says, voice shaky.  

 

“Can’t see--”  Lance raises a hand as if trying to reach out to touch Shiro and he suddenly seizes.  

 

Lance’s body locks up, seizes-- his face screws up with agony and he lets out a raw scream.  

 

Lance shakes, arches his back with agony, and he coughs and retches.  Then there’s a squelching sound as he coughs again. Lance’s armor is smeared in blood now, Lance shaking and vomiting, chin a bright crimson.  His eyes are bugged out and wide and Shiro feels his breath catch in his throat as a thick stream of blood rolls down Lance’s cheeks, out of Lance’s nostrils.  

 

“Quiznack.”  Shiro curses, he looks over at the leg now-- there’s no way he can save it and keep Lance alive.  Shiro cups Lance’s face pokes his cheek to keep him awake, his stomach recoiling when his gloves come away bloody.  

 

“Lance,”  Shiro says, “Lance I need you to listen to me.”  

  
Lance looks over at him; his heart clenches when he sees the small smile.  

 

“I-- I can’t save the leg, I’m gonna--”  He pauses, trying not to retch when a sharp familiar smell reaches his nose, “I’m gonna have to--”  He can’t finish the sentence, stomach wound so tight and smell so strong his eyes water. 

 

Shiro’s hands are shaking when he reaches to Lance’s armored shoe, pulling gently and Lance squirms suddenly, letting out a wet gurgling scream.  

 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”  Shiro decides to let the shoe be, “I have to, I’m sorry.”  

 

Lance blinks and more thickened blood spurts over his cheeks.  

 

Shiro unclips his chest plate, unzips the top half of his flight suit, hating how his skin prickles in the heat.  He slices a strip of cloth from the flight suit with his bayard, glad that the bayard turned into a small dagger not too unlike Pidge’s bayard for this purpose.

 

He ties the strip just above Lance’s knee, unclipping the armored plating around Lance’s thigh and calf, apologies like a mantra when he whimpers and struggles.   

 

“I’m sorry--” Shiro’s voice breaks, “I’m sorry--”  He unclips his belt, glad to find that the material isn’t unlike leather and he wedges it between Lance’s teeth. 

 

“I have to break the leg.”  Shiro says, breathless now, his skin jumping and jittery.  Lance nods weakly at him, staring way past him. 

 

Shiro places his cybernetic hand on Lance’s calf, stomach rolling over and over again, he then pushes hard, eyes squeezed shut, throat jumping when he feels the give of Lance’s leg against his palm, hears the  audible crack and the muffled shriek of pain.

 

“I’m Sorry.”  Shiro says louder, heaving and swallowing, biting his lip hard to keep from crying, “I’m sorry, Lance I’m so sorry.” 

“S-stop apologizing.”  Lance slurs at him, belt falling from his lips.  He’s still smiling, his breath rattling hard and shallow.  

 

Shiro places the belt back into Lance’s mouth, encouraging him to bite down.  He presses the tip of the bayard into the soft space of Lance’s kneecap, his stomach tighter than ever; then he starts sawing.  

 

Lance is screaming, arms flailing.  Shiro holds him down, surprised for a moment at how strong Lance is.  He apologizes, wincing when he presses hard into the twitching flesh, feels the give and scrape against his palm with his bayard.  Suddenly the bayard hits soft earth and he pulls the blade out. Shiro hiccups, bile rising in his throat again as the sharp tang of iron hits his nostrils, his now exposed hand smeared in blood.  

 

Lance is silent now, and Shiro looks over at him, his eyes still open and glossy.  

 

“Shit.”  Shiro curses openly, “Shit-- Fuck.”  He presses his fingers against Lance’s pulse, finds it absent. 

 

“Shit!”  Shiro pulls Lance’s body flat on the ground, then starts CPR, desperation crawling on his skin, the leg is partially removed, and Shiro hands are slick as he starts on chest compressions, his desperation growing and spiraling.  His eyes going from Lance’s open and glossy eyes to the partially detached leg before him. 

 

_ Focus! Stay calm!  _

 

But his head is spinning anyway, even as he blows air into Lance’s mouth, his stomach whirling when he tastes blood, ear pressed against Lance’s chest again.   

 

More chest compressions, more rescue breathing.   _ Fuck fuck fuck--  _ Shiro’s gonna lose him--  __ he’s got two minutes left-- 

 

He tries again and suddenly Lance jerks and seizes, breath rattling violently.  He’s coughing hard, groaning and hacking. 

 

“Oh fuck.”  Shiro feels a flood of relief, as Lance sits up, shaking, he wraps Lance in an embrace, threading his fingers through Lance’s sweaty hair.  

 

“Did we win?” Lance asks, voice hoarse and faint and Shiro chuckles shakily, swallowing over and over again to keep from vomiting.  

 

Shiro doesn’t answer and Lance is breathing against him, now unconscious and Shiro lays him back down, turns to the partially amputated leg.  He pushes into the jagged edge of the wound, clenching his teeth as he saws past bone, blood spurting up over Lance’s open knee. He ties the torn remains of the flight suit against the raw edge of Lance’s knee, stoppering the blood  the best he could. Lance’s face is ashen, cheeks dried with blood, his skin is cool and sweaty. Shiro finds Lance’s helmet, places his remaining ankle on the top of it. 

 

He puts his helmet back on, heart hammering a thousand miles a minute, hears a short crackle.  

 

“--Shiro! Lance!”  It’s Pidge. 

 

“Pidge?”  Shiro asks, “Where are you? What happened?”  

 

“We found your lions, how are you?”  

 

“Pidge ask Coran to get a pod ready.”  Shiro pants, “And get here quick I don’t think Lance has much time.”  

 

The green lion lands in front of the Black Lion, Green’s eyes glowing with the comfort of her element.  Pidge and Hunk run out of the Lion. Pidge’s face goes pale at the sight of Lance and Hunk makes a retching noise.  

 

“Can you fly Black?”  Pidge asks him and Shiro nods mutely, going back inside of his Lion, worry flip flopping in his stomach.  His lion finally flares to life, warmth rushing through his fingertips with the controls. 

 

He’ll be okay. Shiro tries to reassure himself-- Lance will live, he’ll be okay.  

 

  
  



	2. M=Mass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been about six hours since the Castle of Lions warped away from the Jungle Planet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhh, so I have a bunch of little one shots that are related to the first chapter and I wanted to differentiate a little more starkly how Shiro goes through trauma and how Lance reacts to Trauma. Either way, here's chapter two.

Lance’s eyes are blue.  It’s something Shiro never really thought about before.  There’s something intensely endearing about blue eyes. Lance must be lucky to be gifted with eyes that beautiful.

 

 Lance’s eyes are blue, but Shiro’s pretty sure that sclera aren’t red.  He’s staring down, locking onto ocean irises, his sclera dark red and watery, syrupy blood dripping down his cheeks.  Shiro is staring down at Lance’s face, his eyes open and lifeless and when Shiro turns, he sees Lance’s right leg as a frayed edge, bleeding freely, flight suit torn.  

 

He wants to open his mouth, to say something, he finds himself shaking Lance, finding him unresponsive--

 

Shiro wakes with a start, terror punching him in the chest so hard that he heaves, panic making his skin thrum and his hands vibrate.  He stares up at the ceiling of his room--  _  He’s on the Castle of  _ _ Lions, Lance is on the ship with him-- _

 

Shiro sits up abruptly, blanket slipping to the floor.  In the last few hours of being out of a healing pod, Keith, Hunk and Pidge suggested that he rest and stay out of the Healing Pod room until Lance three quarters of the way finished in his pod.  Shiro stares at his hands for a minutes, fingers trembling with the ripple of anxiety in his chest, his cybernetic arm warm to the touch. 

 

It was just a nightmare.  

 

_ Or a memory.   _

 

Shiro gets off of the bed, and he’s stalking down the hallway, down towards the pods.  When he enters the pod room, Hunk and Pidge look up from what appears to be some sort of holographic schematic.  Coran is with them, gives him a comforting smile. 

 

“If it weren’t for you Number two, Number four would’ve certainly been a goner!  That was a very nasty poison.” 

 

Shiro looks over at the pods and finds them empty.  Coran places a hand on his shoulder, still giving him that smile that’s supposed to reassure him.  

 

“We helped Lance over to his room.  He should be resting right now.” 

 

“Thanks Coran.”  His voice gives away a note of worry and he’s rushing out of the healing pod room, down the hallway towards Lance’s room.  

 

Shiro is standing at Lance’s room now, unable to claw away the stomach recoiling scent of decay from his nostrils, unable to wipe the memory of Lance on the edge of losing his life.  

 

The door slides apart and Lance is sitting on the edge of his bed, and he looks over, surprised to see him.  

 

Then he turns, stares blankly at the ground.  His right pants leg is tied off and dangling over the edge, his other leg stretched out before him.  

 

“Hey, Lance.  Mind if I come in?”  Shiro asks and Lance nods mutely, still staring at the ground, his hand pressed on his right thigh.  Shiro inhales deeply, a drop of worry pooling in his stomach and he sits right next to Lance, hands folded on his lap.  

 

There’s an uncomfortable stretch of silence between them, Shiro is at a loss for words and apparently, Lance is too.   He glances over at the tied off pants leg, a ripple of grief worming into his chest. 

 

“I went to the Pod room, didn’t find you there, but I found Hunk and Pidge,”  Shiro starts, trying to cut through the tension, trying to keep from clenching his teeth.  Lance glances over at him for a second, then averts his eyes and stares back at the floor. 

 

_ Okay, he’s listening.   _

 

“I noticed that Hunk and Pidge are designing schematics for a new leg.”  Shiro says and he notices how Lance’s open hand curls into a fist on his lap.  There’s a couple of beats of silence. Shiro decides to press through the suffocating tension, despite the roiling in his stomach, the pang of guilt in his chest.  

 

“I was wondering how you’re holding up.”  Shiro says and he feels as if he’s speaking to open air.  There’s a lick of frustration in his chest, another wave of grief and guilt, “You know you can talk to me, right?”  

 

Lance nods, still silent and Shiro’s throat closes up.  He gives Lance’s back a cursory rub before he stands. 

 

“Uh, call if you need anything.”  Shiro says, “I’ll see you around.”  

 

And he feels his chest tighten painfully when he doesn’t get an answer.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu @Veltron and @Lungs-N-Langst on Tumblr to talk about Langst and to talk to me and stuff! Sometimes I post Heart of Darkness related future excerpts to refresh my motivation n stuff. Anyway xoxo thanks for reading!


	3. Drumbeat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance gets a new leg, Shiro finds a new jungle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Asdfkla I like this story a lot more than my first Langst story on here mostly cause I'm not projecting!! I also am just sorta playing with thematic connection and while this is very plotless, it is character driven! 
> 
> The fact that this story is plotless does it for me, cause me managing arcs in Irregularity wasnt it.

Lance is sitting at the edge of the Healing pod room’s new makeshift cot.  Pidge and Hunk are putting what seems to be fresh new adjustments to a steel blue leg.  The prosthetic is in two pieces, being scrutinized by a very serious looking Hunk, the steel sleeve cuff humming with a glowing teal Balmaren crystal. Shiro sits with them, his arm connected via  cord, attached to Pidge’s computer. Hunk looks up at Pidge and sees Shiro’s arm connected to her laptop, eyebrow raised. 

 

“Tell me again why you need more data from Shiro’s arm?”  

 

“Shiro’s arm gives a wealth of sensory scenarios that can be adjusted for a leg and put into the prosthesis.  There’s just so much data that we need to change and upload.” Pidge responds without looking up. 

 

“But we only need data that helps him move the leg for now.”  Hunk says. Shiro looks over at Lance, who is gazing at them work, gazing at his new calf.  He swears he could see a small flicker of hope in Lance’s eye. He doesn’t seem to notice that Hunk and Pidge are talking with Lance out of the loop.  

 

Pidge looks up, and sighs dramatically.  

 

“Fine.” She says, then she looks over to Lance, who meets her stare with a small and painful looking smile, “Lance, Hunk’s gonna teach you how to attach your power sleeve.”  

 

Hunk balances the cuff sleeve in his hands, goes over to Lance, gently asks him to untie his pants leg and roll it back.  Shiro decides to observe his hands and stare at the cuff despite his burning curiosity, can understand the jarring feeling of being stared at.  Shiro can overhear Hunk gently coaching Lance on how to slide the cuff onto his stump. Her can hear a mechanical click and Shiro looks up, briefly glances over at the cuff and looks over at Lance.  Lance looks back at him, and Shiro smiles softly at him, giving him a thumbs up. Lance then smiles back, returns the thumbs up and there’s a wave of relief and hope in his chest. 

 

So Lance doesn’t hate him.  

 

“Just so you know Lance this is a prototype that we’re gonna work on as we go, so please, don’t hesitate to speak up if something goes wrong.  Okay?” Pidge gives Lance a firm look and he nods with a half hearted shrug. Pidge heaves up the calf of the leg with a grunt, shuffles over to Lance and slides the calf into the cuff with a hissing click.  She drops the calf, and the prosthetic hits the floor with a heavy  _ thunk.   _

 

Lance is quietly observing the leg, moving his thigh back and forth running his fingers over the space between skin and metal.  

 

Pidge then plops right next to Shiro and in front of her computer, squints at the gobbledygook that runs across the screen.  

 

“Alright Lance, wiggle those toes for me.”  

 

The calf clicks as he moves it and Shiro can see the individual servos whir as they wiggle experimentally, clacking on the floor.  

 

“Good, we might need to increase the sensitivity of the sensors, but otherwise, it’s functional.  Now stretch that leg out.” 

 

Lance lifts the leg his face contorting in discomfort as he holds it.  

 

“Lance.”  Shiro speaks up and Lance jerks, looks over at him and the leg clanks back down, “Is there something wrong with the leg?”  

 

Lance’s face blanks out in thought, then he inhales as he looks at Shiro.  

 

“Uh, It’s-- It’s kinda-- kinda heavy.”  He starts and his voice is hoarse and Shiro feels his eyes bug out of his sockets, excitement thrumming through him.  Hunk and Pidge are also looking at Lance, they also seem to be daring to hope. 

 

  
“Heavy, right?”  Shiro repeats, trying to stay calm and Lance  looks away briefly, brow furrowing in thought.  

 

“Yeah-- It’s-- It’s heavy.”  He says again, eyes trained on Shiro, scarily determined.

 

Pidge lets out a huff of pleased laughter, gets up to go hug him.  

 

“The next iterations will definitely be lighter.  I think, you’ll get used to the leg in no time.” 

 

“Aw man buddy!’ Hunk nearly crushes Lance in a hug, voice on the edge of crying, “Love hearing your voice again!”  

 

Shiro agrees his heart swelling so full that it hurts and he’s grinning full, once again shooting Lance a thumbs up.  

 

Lance then heaves himself up with a grunt and he’s suddenly wobbling and Hunk yelps in alarm at the sudden move, the calf clunking loudly and Lance wobbles, arms flailing out for purchase.  

 

Shiro’s already on his feet, cord connected to his arm yanking on Pidge’s computer disconnecting and Lace yelps when Shiro catches him mid fall.  He’s scrambling along Shiro’s chest, arms clinging onto the back of his shirt to pull himself up straight and for a second he manages to balance on one leg, eyes full of a mix of sheepishness and surprise.  Shiro finds himself staring for too long, and he can feel Lance’s arm propped on Shiro’s shoulder for support, fist still gripping the back of his shirt, can nearly feel the inhale and exhale of his chest against his own.  

 

“Are you okay?”  Shiro asks and Lance nods at him, eyes suddenly averting and loosening from around him and Shiro hooks his arms underneath Lance’s arms, easily tugging him upward against his chest and placing him back on the cot.  

 

“Lance!” Hunk cries out, “These things take time! You have to learn how to walk again!”  

 

“I’m--I’m fine, Hunk.”  Lance says still not looking at Shiro, fist pressed against his mouth.  He still wiggles his toes and stretches his calf halfway, eyebrow still furrowed in what appears to be confusion.    

 

“Shiro.”  Pidge says, casually replugging the cord into his arm, “How long did it take for you to get used to your arm?”  

 

Shiro immediately comes to a blank, a gap still existing in his memories.  A gap… or a block of some kind between having an arm and having a different arm.  

 

“Well, I.”  Shiro starts tentatively, “I sort of just know how to use it. Sorry.”  

 

Pidge huffs out a disappointed sigh, gives Shiro a cursory pat on the shoulder.  

  
  
  


“Not your fault.”  She says with a hum, “I’ll just see if any of this extra sensory data can help.”  

 

“Lance, we can repurpose the training room for rehab.”  Hunk says to him, “Don’t sweat it too much.” 

 

__________

  
  


There’s been a lull for the past month and Allura tells him that she’s been actively staying still in a nebula where they could be hidden, waiting for Lance to recover.  

 

Despite all of this, it makes Keith antsy.  

 

“We can’t stay still.  We still need to try to do something to take down Zarkon.”  Keith starts when Shiro meets with him in the training room.  Shiro purses his lips, shakes his head. 

 

“Lance needs time to recover.  His injury was a major loss.” 

 

“The Universe won’t wait for Lance to recover.”  Keith says bitterly, “We can liberate small planets without Voltron.  It keeps us sharp and gives Lance time to recover before we’ll really need Voltron.”  

 

Sometimes, Shiro hates that Keith is right sometimes.  

 

So that’s what they do.  Allura calls on the Paladins over the comms and everyone is there in their armor, ready.  

 

“Alenia has a small Galra base on the south side of the planet.”  Shiro says, hand swiping laong the holographic star map, “They also have several large scale turrets on the east and north side, close to Alenian communities.” 

 

“This sounds real easy.” Hunk says, he looks visibly relieved at that fact.  

 

“It should be.”  Shiro says, “Go in with lions, take down the turrets, then destroy base defenses and the base itself.  Pidge, do you think you can shut down the sentries on the planet at once?” 

“That should be easy.”  Pidge says, pushing her glasses up her nose.

 

“Alright then, there’s the plan.”  Shiro says, “Keith, you’re with me on east side, Pidge and Hunk take north side.  We’ll reconvene for the base.” 

 

Shiro dismisses them and he’s jogging down to the ziplines, surprised to see Lance walking on a crutch in the opposite direction, partially dressed in his flight suit, the flight suit adjusted to fit his new leg, hand gripping the edge of his helmet .  

 

“Lance!”  Shiro says, his stomach rolling with alarm and surprise, “Why aren’t you resting?”  

 

“Are you-- are you guys-- are you guys going on a mission?” Lance asks him, his face serious and determined.  

 

Shiro feels a sharp sensation of guilt in his stomach.  He rubs the back of his head sheepishly. 

 

“Yeah, but it’s a should be really easy and short.”  Shiro tries to reassure and Lance rolls his eyes, his expression morphing from determination to disappointment.  

 

“You should go and rest and we’ll be back.”  Shiro says and Lance’s eyes are downcast to the floor.

 

“What-- what if-- what if you need Voltron?” Lance asks, there’s a dangerous edge to his voice, almost morphing to that of betrayal and Shiro winces.  

 

“I hope we won’t need Voltron.”  Shiro says, jamming his helmet on and hearing the others on the comms calling for him.  

 

“I’ll-- I’ll be on the bridge anyways.”  Lance says, “get back -- get back safe alright?”  

 

Shiro smiles, “Now that I can promise.”  He reaches out to rub Lance’s shoulder in comfort.  

 

Then he’s sprinting off to the ziplines, the last one out of the Castle of Lions.  

 

“What took you so long?” Keith asks over the comms.  Shiro can spot the Red Lion hovering in orbit of the planet.  

“Sorry, I came across Lance.  He heard the announcement.” Shiro says with a sigh.  Hunk makes a sharp noise with his teeth and Shiro agrees with the feeling that noise made.  

 

“I think he’ll be fine.”  Keith says, “He knows this is important.”  

 

Shiro swallows, pushes away the wave of worry in his chest .  

 

A firefight and a couple of blaster shots later, Shiro can hear Hunk saying that he got the North side turret, with Pidge cheering in the background.  Shiro and Keith manage to destroy the east side turret and with a sharp pinwheel turn Shiro is zipping over the trees of what appears to be a  _ jungle--  _

 

Shiro’s breath is suddenly short, his vision warping, staring down at the tops of the trees through his visuals.  There’s  _ something  _ there, beating, like drums, like a heart-- pulsing with blood, turning scarlet to dark red, to black--

 

“Shiro!”  Keith cuts into the comms and Shiro sits up straight, his heart pounding a mile a minute, inhaling shakily, tugging the Black Lion upward and away from the tops of the trees.  His arms and legs are heavy and cold with panic, and he’s trying to blink the sightless warping from his vision. 

 

“Shiro what happened?”  Keith demands and Shiro inhales again, trying to slow his heaving chest, trying to keep himself from clawing at himself, keep himself from begging to stay alive.  

 

“I--”  Shiro starts, “I-- I didn’t know Alenia was a jungle planet.”  

 

He’s gunning  the Black Lion faster towards the south side of the planet, trying to ignore the loud thumping of drums, of a heart, his heart, trying to ignore the memory of blood-- decay-- disease.  

 

Destroying the base is easy, Shiro considers to himself.  Destroying the jungle around it is easier, he can listen to blaster fire and ignore the drums in his ears.      

 

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmu @Veltron for more langst and to just talk n stuff. i say that blog is mainly voltron related but the truth is that blog is where I dump most of my interests and personal stuff.


	4. Need

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is lowkey kinda stilted and I tried not to make it boring and stuff, but I kinda like how the interactions turned out in this one lmao.

Shiro leans back on his seat in the bridge, staring at their newly updated map of freed planets.  Beyond their encroaching influence, little red dots that represented Galra bases and thus, Pidge’s algorithm flickered and pulsed.  He stares at the map for a few seconds more, before rubbing the fatigue out of his eyes, blinking blearily and now suddenly unsure of what to do next.  Shiro stretches in his seat, leans back even farther, slumping, grateful that the bridge is empty and no one can witness his active boredom. 

 

_ Ah, boredom--  _  Shiro’s mind is supplying almost sagely.  The Galra are nowhere close to being defeated, yet Shiro can feel boredom seeping into his bones and invading his limbs.  He groans to himself, annoyed. He could be doing other things if where to go next is stumping him, like training, or helping out Coran or Allura or  _ sleeping.   _

 

Shiro shakes his head.  Every time he closes his eyes it’s as if five minutes have gone past when it’s been eight hours.  Either he doesn’t dream or he has a recurring nightmare of scarlet scleroses and drumbeats. Shiro rubs his eyes again, feels himself yawn.  

 

Okay, time to go see what everyone else is doing.  Shiro fumbles out of his seat, leaves the bridge, down to the Green Lion’s hangar.  Pidge is cross legged next to her lion, hunched over her laptop. Pidge looks up, and there’s a glint in her eyes.  

 

Shiro feels an unusual chill, and Pidge shoots to her feet.  

 

“Shiro! Just the guy I needed to see.”  Pidge wraps her arms around Shiro’s arm, tugs him over to her laptop.  She gestures at him to sit next to her. 

 

“I’ve been adjusting more sensory values to Lance’s leg, you know, to make it more sensitive and I don’t have enough data to model those values.”  She explains, typing away at her laptop. “That’s why I need more data from your arm.” 

 

Pidge then pulls Shiro’s arm onto her lap, unclipping a panel from the top of his metallic forearm and plugging a cord into the interface.  Shiro winces, a pinching pressure in the area. She raises an eyebrow at the reaction, then turns to her laptop, once again, typing. 

 

“Thinking of Lance.”  Shiro starts, “How’s he doing?”  

 

“When it comes to his leg?”  Pidge says, not looking up, “Pretty good actually, it takes a little for his leg to catch up and some of the joints of his first model don’t work but otherwise he’s using it pretty well.”  

 

Shiro leans to look over her shoulder, his eyes blurring at the sight of the light colored lines of code, multiple windows open.  

 

“Some of this code is unreadable.”  Pidge explains, “Whatever software the Galra used for your prosthesis has a whole other programming language associated with it.  I’ve only got half of the sensory data from your arm. The other half is hard to translate.” 

 

“Do you think you can do it?”  Shiro asks before he can stop himself and Pidge straightens up, ruffles considerably.  

 

“Of course I can, I’ve managed to translate some of it, even make it compatible with my computer!”  

 

Shiro sits back against the giant paw of the lion, waiting patiently for Pidge to finish fishing around for sensory data and soon she’s waving her hand at him to go away, the glint in her eyes becoming brighter as she glares at the screen.  

 

“Make sure you get some rest.”  Shiro tells her gently as he stands, “You’ll wear yourself out if you spend too much time on translating.”  

 

Pidge looks up almost petulant looking, “You too big guy.”  

 

Shiro rubs the spot of his arm where the cord was plugged in, now suddenly free of any real duty.  He peeks into the training room, finds Keith working up a sweat and decides not to bother him. The training room will be empty for one on one use later.  Interestingly enough, when Shiro passes the Kitchens, Hunk is absent, although a tray of bright yellow biscuit-cookies are displayed on the counter. 

 

Shiro stuffs a biscuit into his mouth, his fist full of three more biscuits.  He hasn’t realized that he was hungry. He makes a noise of surprise at how citrusy they taste, finishing the biscuits he took in less than three minutes, mulls over whatever dignity he had left.  

 

If he were Lance, where would he hang out?  Coran usually puts Lance to work, as far as he knows, cleaning Cryo-pods and other miscellaneous equipment in the castle.    Lance may also be in his room, which worries him a little more than Shiro wants to be. 

 

He’s standing at the door of Lance’s and when he knocks, the door slides open-- empty.  

 

Shiro is going down to the hangars once more, and he stands at the Blue lion’s hangar.  It never occurred to him that Lance would be strengthening his bond with Blue. Shiro shakes his head and steps inside.  

 

Lance and Hunk are against the Blue Lion’s paw,  Lance straddling Hunk’s lap, his mouth on his, Hunk’s hands threading through Lance’s hair--

 

“Oh--! Hey Shiro!”  Hunk says sheepishly and Lance looks back at him, face contorted in surprise and embarrassment.  

 

Shiro feels an unpleasant whirl in his chest, his lips pursing together.  Hunk and Lance are standing, straightening their clothes. 

 

“I-- I was wondering how you two were doing.”  Shiro says, a tight painful sensation in his chest, crawling up his throat, “I didn’t know you two were together--” 

 

“Oh-- we’re- we’re not-- we’re not together.”  Lance stammers hastily and Hunk is rubbing the back of his neck nodding along with him, “We-- we-- we were just--”  

 

“Experimenting.”  Hunk finishes cheerfully and Shiro’s chest only tightens some more, “You know, with only the seven of us being in the Castle and all, and don’t get me wrong! Allura is a great gal, and Pidge is a friend-- and Keith is… Keith is just Kieth, and--”   

 

“I get it, it’s fine.”  Shiro interrupts, trying to keep his voice as gentle as possible and he briefly glances over at Lance, his chest alighting when Hunk shuffles closer to Lance, wraps a comforting arm around Lance’s.  

 

“Oh, thank you Shiro-- to be perfectly honest, I thought that there was some sort of ban on stuff like this.”   Hunk says and Lance glances at him briefly, still looking away, still embarrassed. 

 

“Well, that’s-- that’s great.  There isn’t any ban I know of. I--”  Shiro sees Hunk shifting uncomfortably in the spot he’s standing in arm still wrapped around Lance’s, “Well, I should check up on Keith-- and Allura.  We might be going on another mission soon.” 

 

Lance perks up, his gaze locking with Shiro’s, hope glimmering in his eyes.  

 

“Does-- does this-- does this mean that I can fly Blue again with you guys?”  He asks.

 

“I’m… not sure,”  Shiro says, once again trying to be as gentle as possible.  He feels every muscle in his body go taut when Hunk pulls Lance closer to his side in a comforting manner, “We’ll have to see.”  

 

“I-- I can walk.”  Lance starts, he’s puffing his chest as if defensive, “I can even run!”  

 

“And you’ve been doing great.”  Shiro says, “But you still need to take time to rest and practice.”  

 

Lance’s mouth opens as if he’s about to protest, then closes.  Shiro feels his chest whirl even more when he sees Lance’s now dejected expression.  

 

“You’ll be back up and running in no time!” Hunk says and his hand is rubbing Lance’s shoulders comfortingly.  Lance shuffles where he stands. 

 

The next mission does come and this time Lance is the first one to answer the distress beacon, surprisingly.  He’s in his blue armor, leaning against his chair, waiting with Allura for their debriefing. 

 

Allura is talking about the people of the planet, apparently, they were old allies with the Alteans long before the war, but now the Galra have nearly all but obliterated them.  Their job: wipe out Galra bases, drive out Galran forces and reestablish their alliance. 

 

“Of course, this mission does not need all of Voltron to succeed.”  Allura says and Lance makes a face, jiggles his leg experimentally. 

 

“Why not?”  Lance says testily, “What if we  _ do  _ need Voltron? What are you gonna do then?”  

 

“I assure you, Lance that this mission does not require Voltron’s presence.  You certainly do not need to be there.” Allura says, her face is tempered, calm and collected, as if her decision is the most rational one there is.  

Lance straightens up, Hunk, Pidge and Keith wince nearby.  He purses his lips together, his expression now stormy. 

 

“Planets like these, always need Voltron.”  Lance says, arms folded, “But if you don’t need me, then fine.”  Lance then slides around his chair, plops right onto it, his leg clunking ungracefully.  

 

Allura’s calm expression morphs slightly into that of barely contained worry when Lance struggles to adjust in his seat.  She then looks at the other paladins, a flash of concern glinting in her eyes. 

 

“Paladins, let’s make this mission quick.”  She says and Shiro nods along with the other four.  Lance doesn’t respond to her or them. 

 

Lance is quiet over the castle’s comm as the lions fly down to the Planet’s surface.  

 

“Pidge, are there any essential systems we need to take out on foot?”  Shiro asks. 

 

“Nope, doesn’t seem to be any I know of!”  Pidge says. 

 

“Alright, by the looks of the schematics there are two essential Galra bases.  If use two lions to a base we’ll be able to take out the bases without a problem.”  

 

Shiro pairs himself with Keith both of them speeding to the first base on the other side of the planet and soon they’re in a firefight.  The first few fighters are easy to destroy, falling into easy flow state. Soon, Keith is blasting his ion laser at the base and it’s going up in flames, sparking into explosions.  

 

“All right!”  Shiro cheers to Keith, he clicks the comms to the Green Lion open, “How are you guys doing on your end?”  

 

Pidge’s face blooms upon his dashboard and she looks visibly worried.  

 

“We’re having a little trouble, but nothing we can’t handle!”  

 

Hunk is wailing, his comm also blooming on Shiro’s dashboard.  

 

“They’ve got an ion turret!”  Hunk complains and Pidge makes an exasperated face, glances back at Shiro.  

 

“Don’t worry about us, we’ve got this!”  She and Hunk then cuts off the line and Shiro lets out a breath of his own vaguely amused exasperation.  

 

“Princess, Coran, Lance.  Are you three alright up there?”  

 

“We’re doing fine Shiro, thank you.”  Allura says and her voice seems on edge.  Lance doesn’t respond. 

 

The next few minutes are spent blasting galra fighters with ease and suddenly there’s a sharp, short scream of surprise.  

 

Shiro straightens up, opens up the communication line to the castle.  

 

“Princess?”  He says urgently and there’s a noise that overloads the microphone on their end.  

 

“They brought backup--!”  Allura shouts, “The Castle’s shields can only take two more--”  

 

She yelps again and Shiro looks skyward, sees a bright purple flash flare across the sky, beyond the thick atmosphere, but not much else.  

 

“They brought backup!”  Shiro tells the rest of the team, “We need to go back up and defend the castle!”  

 

There are noises of affirmation from the others and Shiro’s surging into the outer atmospheres of the planet, the pale blue dot that represents the castle becoming bigger and bigger with how fast he guns his lion.  

 

Shiro pauses, sees a giant Galra cruiser charging up and blasting in his direction.  Shiro swerves out the way, swearing. 

 

“That’s a Zaiforge cannon!”  Pidge shouts over the comms, “We can’t-- we can’t destroy it on our own, we’ll have to fall back!”  

 

“We’ll give it everything we’ve got.”  Shiro says and he’s quietly hoping that they won’t need Voltron, that they won’t need to have Lance run to his lion in their time of need, not when he’s still recovering, not when his leg is still so heavy.  

 

They’re failing.  Badly. Shiro is scraping the jaw blade of the lion across the side of the zaiforge, hoping that something works but it’s hull is still strong, scraping, yet barely denting.  Shiro lets out a grunt of frustration, jolted by Pidge’s sharp scream when she barely dodges the zaiforge. 

 

“I don’t want to say this, I know none of us wanna say this, but we need Voltron.  We can’t keep going like this!” Hunk says, his voice panicked and Shiro sighs, his chest roiling with resentment.  

 

“Coran, is it possible to do a wormhole jump?”  Shiro asks over the comms. 

 

“The ship can’t take another hit, but it may be possible to fall back--  _ Lance!”   _ Coran shouts over the comm and Shiro straightens up in his seat, a glacier of ice falling in his stomach at the sound.  He’s frozen, hands wrapped tight around the controls of his lion and he can nearly feel the ripples of worry over the bond.   

 

A couple of minutes pass and a flash of blue light jets out from the Castle of Lions, the Blue Lion is blasts an ice beam at the Zaiforge.  

 

“We got this!”  Lance shouts over the comms.  

 

“Lance!”  Shiro says breathlessly, “You’re here!” 

 

“Yeah I’m here.”  Lance says, his voice set and sure, “You looked like you needed help.”  

 

“Glad to see you back.”  Keith interjects, his voice uncertain yet also sure.  

 

“Glad to be back, now let’s fuck up ourselves a Zaiforge cannon!”  

 

Shiro feels an unstoppable grin on his face, his chest and stomach blooming with both hope and icy-hot fear.  

 

_ “Form Voltron!”   _

 

Voltron makes quick work of the cannon, fumbling around slightly.  The cannon explodes in a fireworks show of violets and reds. 

 

Soon Voltron liberates the planet and the battle is over.  

 

Shiro enters the living room third with Hunk, Keith and Pidge.  Like how he feels, they look exhausted. 

 

“Good work you guys.”  Shiro says, he gives them a thumbs up.  The door slides open and Lance walks in.  He’s limping, visibly sweating but his eyes shine with pride and excitement, bluer than Shiro’s ever seen them, even as he leans on the doorframe to the living room.  

 

Pidge rushes over to him, tugs him towards the couches.  

 

“Sit!” She practically commands and Lance drops himself on the couch.  Hunk sits himself next to Lance, taking his hand and embracing him. A lick of jealousy is alight in Shiro’s stomach and for a second he wants to worm his way in between them, run his fingers through Lance’s hair and ask him about his health.  

 

She’s pulling off Lance’s shoe to inspect the leg, bending it this way and that.  

 

“How did you manage to get to your lion?”  Pidge asks and Lance raises an eyebrow at the question.  

 

“I ran.”  He says shortly, his arms are folded again, his expression turning guarded.  

 

“How did it feel?”  Pidge asks and Lance shrugs.  

 

“I dunno.”  

 

“Was it difficult?”  

 

“Yeah, I guess.”  Lance says, rubbing the back of his neck.  Hunk is brushing his hand affectionately through Lance’s hair and Shiro clenches his fists, trying not to be petulant.  Keith sidles up to him, elbows his side. Shiro glances silently over at him and Keith is giving him a slightly annoyed look.   

 

“How difficult?”  Pidge asks and Lance sighs, rolls his eyes. 

“I don’t know, not too difficult I guess?  Leg is heavy, of course it’s difficult.” Lance says and Pidge nods at him, prods the rest of his leg then sits next to him.  

 

Shiro sits at the couch across from Lance, Hunk and Pidge and Keith sits next to hi, a silent wingman.  

 

“You did a great job.”  Shiro says, Lance visibly brightens up, practically preens at the compliment, “But you running to your lion like that wore you down pretty badly.”  

 

Shiro winces, hates the expression that Lance makes when he says that.  

 

“Then--then I’ll just train more.”  Lance says, his arms are folded tighter, he’s leaning against Hunk, “‘s not a big deal.”  

 

Shiro and Hunk exchange a mutual look of worry when Lance is staring at his feet, his expression once again, stormy.  

 

“Alright team, great job all around.  You all should get some well deserved rest.”  Shiro stands biting his lip at how Hunk runs a hand over the nape of Lance’s neck, decides to ignore the flare in his stomach, “Yes, even you Pidge.”  

 

Pidge groans and soon, half the team files out of the living room, leaving Keith and Shiro alone.  

 

Keith is giving him this half-amused gaze and Shiro feels heat creep up his neck.  

 

“Don’t look at me like that.”  

 

“Yeah, sure, Shiro.   They’re not together you know.”  

 

Shiro rolls his eyes, “I know.”  

 

Keith folds his arms, still amused, “Then I don’t know what you’re doing.”  

 

“Shut up.”  Shiro says and he’s stalking out of the living room, the flare in his stomach only growing stronger.   

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, Shiro is a big dummy
> 
> hmu @Veltron on Tumblr, @Evan_Veltron on twitter and @Lungs-n-Langst on tumblr to see more Langst and Shance content! (My Twitter is supposed to be art oriented)

**Author's Note:**

> It might be a multichapter story with little vignette style stuff going on. No overarching plot or anything, just Lance recovering and Shiro being nervous and protective and maybe pining it depends. 
> 
> Anyways, hmu @ Veltron to talk about stuff and request crap from my Bingo Card! Hmu @ Lungst-N-Lnagst for more Langst nonsense!


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